"The biggest obstacle is understanding where your child fits regarding level of play."
This was the most common response when I surveyed parents about their recruiting challenges.
The solution? A conversation most players avoid having with their club coach.
Here's why this matters:
Long before you joined your club, your coaches built relationships with college programs. Those relationships will continue long after you move on.
This creates an uncomfortable reality: club coaches need to maintain their credibility with college programs. If they oversell players, they damage those relationships.
The Conversation Crisis
Almost every player starts with their dream schools - the top programs, the best-known sports conferences, the big names everyone knows.
But most never ask their club coach an essential question: "Can I play at that level?"
Players avoid this talk because they fear discouraging feedback, are concerned about losing confidence, and have anxiety about hearing a potentially inconvenient truth.
But the costs of avoiding these conversations are huge: wasting time, effort and money on schools that may never recruit you.
Hope Is Not A Strategy
Here's what actually happens when you get honest feedback:
- You target schools that are likelier to be a mutual fit
- You stop wasting time and money
- You know what to improve
- You build trust with your coach
You might not agree with everything you hear, but now you can tailor your process to the information.
It's also true that the only opinions that truly matter are those of the college coach - and that the market will ultimately decide who recruits you and who doesn't.
But you're presumably paying your club coach to train you because you think they have some knowledge and expertise - so you might as well find out how they see you.
One Thing That Works
There's one question that consistently breaks through the awkwardness:
"If a college coach called you today about me, what would you tell them?"
Not "What do you think about my list?" Not "Where do you think I can play?"
This question invites honest, specific feedback about where you stand right now.
Reality Check
Your club coach isn't trying to crush dreams. They're trying to guide paths.
But they can only help if you're ready to listen.
There's more nuance to creating and curating your list - and maximizing your club coach or recruiting advisor relationship - than I can fit in a single newsletter.
That's where The Field Hockey Recruiting Playbook comes in. It just launched earlier this month, and includes specific strategies for getting honest feedback and using your support system effectively.
P.S. Next week, I'll show you how to stop introducing yourself to coaches who already know you.
